For Mr. Bingley, who hates me

Tough, kid. You're a pathetic, whiny child. Sis, kick his ass.

On second thought, don't. At least not for his sad, little Tom Lehrer envy. On general principles, go ahead.

But not for lack of Tom Lehrer-trying. He has in the past shown some aptitude for Tom Lehrer references, and for that I forgive him his hatred.

And embed this:



UPDATE: I just thought I'd throw this one in for fun. Not exactly certain where it falls on the spectrum of "the ridiculous to the obscene", though perhaps it goes "too far", but there you have it:



That's right, man, kick them when they're down!

Well that was relatively painless

Got a call from the Sainted Bride at lunch. She was home. The garage door opener didn't work. Fortunately, it decided to quit working while her car was outside, rather than inside. I thought it was a great excuse to leave work early, so I planned to cancel my standing 3:00 meeting.

Didn't happen.

An issue came up in manufacturing that would need to be discussed at the meeting. No problem, I thought, it's just an update to the meeting participants, with request for suggestions after the already-determined course of action that was already in progress. Shouldn't take more than 15 minutes.

Didn't happen.

Meeting drifted off onto other tangentially related issues. Before you say, "Dude, why didn't you, as the meeting leader, keep the meeting on your agenda?", be advised that there are some big dogs at this meeting. If they decide to drift, it's out of my control. And it's not like these were unimportant things to discuss, so I let them drift.

Upshot: didn't get away from work until almost 4:00. Didn't get home until almost 5:30 (typical is 6:00). Grabbed a beer and started in on the garage door opener. Checked the obvious first (circuit breaker, etc.). Grabbed a circuit tester and tested the wires plugged into the back (actually a useless exercise, I quickly realized, because these are only for the stop sensors). Then I swapped its plug with the one for the garage overhead light.

Success (while the light switch was on, of course). Checked the garage light in the other outlet. Worked. Swapped them back. All still worked.

So I guess all that happened what that perhaps the outlet accumulated some dust that buggered up the connection, or something like that. Anyway, opener is back online. And before 6:00. Not bad for a rookie. This weekend, I'll try to blow out the outlet with some compressed air to do the job better. But for now, I have another beer and I'm good.

A laugh

Did I ever mention that I took a math class from Tom himself? I did, you know. Pretty cool.

One of my favorite Tom Lehrer songs of all time. Not least because Ronnie Reagan managed to prevent the horrible scenario by whuppin' up on the Soviet Union.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, spare me the comments. It was lots of folks, and the nuclear demon raises its head again recently.

Still, this song epitomizes the mindset of the nuclear-apocalyptic era. A stage version, which (sadly) leaves out some of the best comedy lines:



A better (audio) version:



I heard a radio interview with Tom (I took a math class from his, did I mention that? so I think I can call him Tom) a few years ago. He lamented the idea of improv comedy, and that songwriters don't put as much thought into their material these days. Well, I think that's probably true overall, but I do have a very large soft spot for those who can make stuff up in real time.

Another genealogy post

Not mine, though. I seem to have hit some dead ends in my own family tree. But I'm still intrigued by the folks in the pictures I mentioned in this post. And I'm making some progress. I mentioned before that I identified some of the pictures, and I've contacted one person already who is sort of related to the lady I shall call "Edith" (because that's her name). Edith and my Grandma and a lady I shall call "Thelma" (ibid) went to college together at Chico State. And the lady I shall call "Mary" (op cit.) is the mother of Thelma.

There is one other gal not yet identified. She seems to be closely associated with Mary and Thelma (but not within the immediate family, though one might suspect so from the pictures). This gal got married in Hawaii in the 1930s. She had a son named Austin. Austin seems to be perhaps a family name, because Thelma's brother was named Austin.

I'm really hoping to identify this other gal soon, because the number of people who may have known this family is dwindling rapidly. Mom died in 2002, Auntie died in 2006, Mary died in 1957, Thelma died in (probably, not certain of the identity) 1973. Edith died ... well, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure she was born in 1902 and I think it's a fair bet that she didn't make 107. Her daughter is still alive, though (at last contact with said daughter's cousin) but no word back from the fellow yet.

But a small ray of hope: Thelma's brother, the aforementioned Austin, had a son. And I think I may have actually located him.

Now to find a way to contact him and offer pictures and ask for information without sounding like a weirdo stalker.

Shut up. I am NOT a weirdo stalker. I'm NOT!

Memorial Day

To Our Fallen Heroes:



We are not worthy.

Terminal morbidity

I got kind of melancholic while putting together my (not worthy) Memorial Day post. I was perusing old posts trying to cheer myself up. It helped a little but it also made me even more melancholy. I got to thinking about Nick Reynolds and Brian Wilson, and others who have made me happy in the past but have now sadly passed on. So I'm just posting some cool stuff, some of which I've posted before. But they make me happy.

Sloop John B (y'all know how much I love this song):



We love you, Nick.

Another, earlier version I've never heard before:



I have no idea who Lyn Murray is, but very cool my man.

Of course, the greatest version of all time was by the Beach Boys. Unfortunately, the version embedded above has since had embedding disabled. Fascist pigs, (but hit the link, you can still see it there). Here's another embedded version with some pretty cool graphics:



Oddly enough, though, the specific Kingston Trio vid I was looking for, before veering off into "Sloop John B", was this one:



Man, I love you guys. R.I.P., Nick. You rock, man.

Stimulating the economy

Sooo... This weekend has been one of stimulating the economy. So I'm thinking President Obama owes me one.

Tomorrow we get some new doors installed. Nine, in fact. I really wanted solid-core doors, they have such a great feel compared to hollow-core doors. However (remembering the numbers no doubt imprecisely), solid-core = ~$250, hollow-core = ~$45. And $200 per door is nothing to sneeze at.

Sigh. Sorry, Prez. Can't afford to stimulate that much.

Anyway, we went with hollow-core for the interior doors, solid-core with the one outside door we're getting. Also, we're upgrading the doorknobs for the most part. We really love the antique brass look, so we're continuing the slow upgrade on them I've been doing for a while now. We're keeping the ones we already changed, replacing the ones we haven't yet. But (WARNING: Product endorsement coming!) if you happen to go shopping for new knobs (not connected with the FFOT), please do check out the Schlage knobs. Seriously. There's another brand somewhat less expensive which looks very similar I honestly can't remember the brand name). I've bought them before and they are fine. But before you buy, please do check out the feel of the different brands. The Schlage are definitely worth the extra few bucks in my book. They just feel so much better in your hand when you turn them. Not that we're replacing the cheapies already bought (Sorry, Prez!), but maybe someday.

And the other stimulating thing we did today? Bought a new car for the Sainted Bride. Good sale weekend, and a good time to buy (not a good time to be selling, of course, but we did well on the price). So I will inherit the SB's older 2000 Buick, with which I will commute, alternating with my current 2001 Scooby-Doo. It seems wise. The Buick, in 9 years, has about 70,000 miles on it, the Scooby-Doo, in 8 years, has in excess of 200,000.

Yeah, though I've done a wee bit of quality off-roading with the Scooby-Doo (including putting a bagged buck in the back) the Buick needs some quality highway miles added to it in addition to the few we've put on it on weekends and vacations. And there's the additional peace of mind that comes with the fact that when the dearly beloved Scooby-Doo finally kicks the proverbial bucket, we won't have to be at the mercy of mercenary dealers and have to make a deal quickly, as has happened in the past (reference here to the Great Truck-Smashup-and-subsequent-Buy-a-New-Car-then-go-back-to-work-to-my-first-Year-End-Inventory omitted because it's no longer available on 'Pints).

So that's how we've helped stimulate the economy this weekend. Drop your stimulations in the comments. Even if they are not economy related. Preferably if they are not economy related. And please include all relevant details. In very explicit detail, please.

Needed a laugh

So here you go:



UPDATE: More math laughs:



And an old favorite I know I've posted before:

Another Evolution Post

Unfortunately, I don't have the time or energy to cover all I wanted to, just the highlights. I left a comment over on Bingley's post, but I wanted to add some, specifically about some really dumb stuff written by the reporter.

First off: Missing link? Please define your terms. Traditionally, the mythical "missing link" cited by anti-evolutionists has been between man and chimps (and other apes). Oh, and by the way, several have been found. A freakin' plethora of them. As in a boatload of Homo and Australopithecus genera and species. As have also been found "missing links" between man/apes and monkeys, and man/ape/monkeys and lemurs (look up Proconsul and Aegyptopithecus).

Next: "The search for a direct connection between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom has taken 200 years - but it was presented to the world today" and "This little creature is going to show us our connection with the rest of the mammals." Oh please. It's still a primate. Like the other primate fossils already found dating back to the Cretaceous Period. A little more lemur/monkey-like perhaps, but still a primate. That isn't going to persuade anyone not already persuaded by all the other evidence available. Well, maybe some joker sitting on the fence leaning that way. And getting hit with a gale.

More: "Researchers say proof of this transitional species finally confirms Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, and the then radical, outlandish ideas he came up with during his time aboard the Beagle." Okay, that's just borderline retarded. Any researcher who actually said something that stupid should be beaten with his own ill-gotten grants.

Say it with me, kids. DARWIN DID NOT INVENT THE CONCEPT OF EVOLUTION. Nor did his Grandpa Erasmus, who had a different theory of evolution. As did Lamarck. And others. At most, this new fossil adds to the body of evidence that evolution occured, but says NOT ONE FREAKIN' THING ABOUT DARWIN.

People don't seem to get it. DARWIN DID NOT INVENT THE CONCEPT OF EVOLUTION. It was already known, if not widely accepted, when he rolled around. Darwin's contribution, and what was so radical and subversive about his theory, was the utterly mechanistic idea of natural selection. Yet apparently even grown scientists still spout nonsense (trying to be somewhat charitable toward the reporter).

Eh. Done for the evening. Too tired, but maybe I'll add some more tomorrow. My one final comment for the evening:

47 million years old and 95% complete? Way too cool. I'm reminded of a comment, can't remember exactly who said it or the exact wording (oh, wait, I found it, God Bless the Innernuts): "mammalian history, as known from fos­sils, featured little more than the mating of teeth to produce slightly modified descendant teeth." Sad, but largely true.

Well. Piss. On. This.

Going to hire a pool service. Sick of this crap.

I'm shocked, shocked!

That there is gambling going on in Casablanca so many questions went unanswered. Dudes and Dudettes, this is The Fifth Dimension we're talking about, with the Dear and Sainted Florence LaRue and the Dear and Sainted Marilyn McCoo!

You should be ashamed of yourselves, even those born after their heyday. I know I'm ashamed of you.

But I will forgive. And I will embed some answers. And you WILL LISTEN, for all that is good and holy in this world. Because I see you when you're sleeping and I know when you're awake, and I'm a really bad, evil person. Who holds a grudge.

'Nuff said.

Answers:

2) The world's a nicer place where? [In my beautiful balloon]

6) Together let's do what? [Together, Let's find love - I'll give you a mulligan on this one, it's not one of their better known songs]

7) Four leaves on a clover, I'm just a bit what? [I'm just a bit of a shade hungover - if you don't know this song, you need to]

8) Where can we sing a song and sail along? [We can sing a song and sail along the silver sky - again, in my beautiful balloon. People, it's really not that hard!]

9) I heard your number ringing and what happened? [I went cold inside. Again, it just ain't that tough!]

10) Please don't tell my mother I'm what? [I'm a saloon and moonshine lover]

14) Gonna do what to that devil? [Gonna lay that devil down - again, a mulligan, not one of their better known songs]

15) Love runs deep like what? [Like a pendulum beat - another mulligan, kids]

16) Why couldn't I close my eyes? [Because you were on my mind, and since some other lyrics from this song were gotten, I'm disappointed]

17) Suspended where? [Under the twilight canopy, and again, since some other lyrics from this song were gotten, I'm disappointed]

18) Where will we chase your dream? [Across the sky, and again, since some other lyrics from this song were gotten, I'm disappointed]

19) Don't let Daddy hear it. Why not?[Because he don't believe in the gin mill spirit, and again, you really need to listen to this song]

And so I'm going to embed a couple of songs below. Songs I've embedded before, but you need some drill and kill, apparently. Listen and learn, kids:





Listen to the flute on that one. And BTW, the dearly departed yet very much Sainted Ron Townson is on the left in the video. Ron, you live on in our hearts.

Singin' the Praises

I've sung them before, but he deserves another.

Buck Ram.

Rest easy, my man. You are too cool.

UPDATE: For those of you chill'uns unfamiliar with The Great and Powerful Buck Ram, I shall once again embed this classic, written by said Great and Powerful Buck Ram:

Uh oh, bad move girl

Uh, Chihuahua, hon, it's really not wise to kiss the guy with tuberculosis full on the mouth.

Just sayin'.

That is all.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (The Sainted Florence LaRue Edition)

UPDATE: Many of the questions answered, and the answers noted. Also bumped. After all, this is the Dear and Sainted Florence LaRue we're talking about.

Oh my goodness. I feel so bad at how I've neglected the Dear and Sainted Florence LaRue. Oh, my dear Sainted Florence, you are, indeed, one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Florence, my dear and Sainted Lady, forgive me for recycling an old post, but I am so totally fried and tired, and not a lot of the questions were answered. So please forgive me, dear one. I'll try to make it up to you. I don't know how yet, but of you'll just guide me I'll do what I can.

Anyway, here are some recycled questions about the Dear and Sainted Forence LaRue. I've used them at least twice before, but I don't care:

1) I lay awake and watched until when? [Nightfly: Until the Morning Light]

2) The world's a nicer place where?

3) Will there come a time when I grow tired of you? [A Boy Named Sous: Never, My Love]

4) If you can surrey (and really, who can't?) where are you going? [Nightfly: To the Stoned Soul Picnic]

5) Each time the doorbell rings, what do I do? [Lisa: I still run]

6) Together let's do what?

7) Four leaves on a clover, I'm just a bit what?

8) Where can we sing a song and sail along?

9) I heard your number ringing and what happened?

10) Please don't tell my mother I'm what?

11) One less egg to fry and what do I do? [Nightfly: All I do is cry]

12) In your voice I hear what? [Nightfly: In your voice I hear a choir of carousels]

13) I was the one who came running when? [Nightfly: I was the one who came running when you were lonely]

14) Gonna do what to that devil?

15) Love runs deep like what?

16) Why couldn't I close my eyes?

17) Suspended where?

18) Where will we chase your dream?

19) Don't let Daddy hear it. Why not?

20) If devotion rules my heart, I do what (or not)? [Nightfly: If devotion rules my heart, I take no bows]

I apologize not for messing up the cut-and-paste above. I'm well into God's Own Brew.

Shut up, you whiny little brats

So, as noted over at today's FFOT, I'm a little irritated with a few kids today. Specifically, I'm irritated at some college-age (i.e., adult) brats who are OH SO TOTALLY UPSET O-MY-GAH-[unnecessary and irritating guttural stop]-AHDDDD that their parents happen to be on Facebook. And some of these parents have sent their children "friend" requests.

These children have apparently banded (or perhaps the better word is herded) together in online groups with such delightful names as

KEEP PARENTS OFF FACEBOOK!!!

(yes, all caps and three exclamation points) and

PARENTS GET OFF FACEBOOK

and the ever-popular

Eek! My mom is on facebook!

(and yes, "mom" and "facebook" were not initially capitalized).

On some of their Facebook pages are such droll comments as

PARENT FREE ZONE

and

MOMS WITH FACEBOOKS ARE STALKERS. LEAVE US
AAAAAAALLLLLLLLOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE!

Hear their plaintive cry!

It seems the young folk are upset that their parents might see their Facebook pages with the writings, the gossip, and the pictures of them drinking and partying and perhaps even (though they didn't show it in the video) running around in the altogether. It also seems that they, like so many adolescents, have a rather low opinion of their parents' intelligence:

"So it was really weird when my Mom got on it because I didn't know she'd know how to do it."

Here's a bit of sage advice from a parent of college students: We're not anywhere near as stupid and technologically incompetent as you think. My 90-year-old grandfather is online. Maybe he'll send you a "friend" request.

Oh, and here's another bit of advice: If you don't want your parents to see you drinking and partying and whatnot, don't post pictures of yourself doing those things. It's rather simple, no?

One of these kids actually had the da noive to ignore the request when her father tried to "friend" her. Yes, you read that correctly. A forty-plus-year-old man actually used the word "friend" as a verb. I can understand that from illiterate college students, but he's old enough to know better. However, I shall temper my disdain somewhat because he then printed up a t-shirt reading "My daughter won't friend me".

No, I will not apologize for putting the period outside the quote. I may be a Grammar Nazi but I still have a rebellious streak and a finely honed sense of right and wrong. More or less.

But being a conscientious parent and wanting only the best for the next generation, I will supply one last bit of parental wisdom.

"Some young people say having their parents on their Facebook page is like giving them a key to their online diary."

The bit of wisdom is this: "online" and "diary" are concepts best kept well apart. If you're going to write down your innermost thoughts, your secret fantasies, your backstabbing gossip, it's really best to do it privately. You never know who might read it.

Quote of the day

From Sonja Schmidt:

The deal is, John Edwards is a pretty boy and a self-proclaimed narcissist. Any woman has to show him two things to get him hot and bothered.

That's right: a comb and a mirror.

Found via some dude back east.

Random (fictional) Country Music Lyric Strangely Applicable to Stories Ripped from Today's Headlines

The oil is all in Texas, but the dipsticks are in D.C.

Huh, surprised I haven't embedded this one before

Another great Fifth Dimension song:



I'm dedicating this post to the late, great Ron Townson. Rest easy, fella. We still love you.

Quote of the day

From Mojo:

I've been known to carry a flask of whiskey, in case of snake-bite. I also carry a small snake.

I really should start doing that.

Quote of the day

Yeah, I originally posted this in the wrong spot. Damned Fridays.

From Simon Scowl:

Well, the important thing to remember is that Prejean is bad for giving her honest, direct opinion when asked for it, whereas Obama is good because he’s “nuanced” (AKA vague and diversionary). Makes sense. Why would gay folks want straight answers?

Semi-related question: Is President Obama a "dumb bitch" too?

Ha ha ha!

Went a-youtubin' again for "In Living Color". This is so funny:

My dear, Sainted Florence LaRue

Oh, y'all know how I swoon over the amazing and incredible and etc. Marilyn McCoo. Ah, but there is another amazing and incredible and etc. lady in the Fifth Dimension over whom I can swoon to about the same degree. The American Society of Jewelry Executives named here one of the ten most beautiful women in the world, and rightfully so.

And she sings just as beautifully. Florence, you incredible babe. Looks, pipes, and what seems from the wiki page to be an absolutely wonderful outlook on life.

And I went back to that other post just to listen to the Sainted Florence and the Sainted Marilyn.

And now it's fantasy time...

Mystery solved, maybe kinda sorta

So I mentioned before this gal (Mary) that just keeps showing up in family pictures. As near as I can tell from searching on Ancestry and other places, she is no relation. Yet she just keeps showing up, as do several other faces, specifically Edith and Thelma.

Well, I think have solved at least part of the mystery. Solution below the fold:

Wait, there's no fold. Danged blogspot.

Anyway, the solution is that there is no relation. Turns out, as near as I can tell, two of the faces that show up a lot are college friends of my grandmother (one may have been her roommate, not completely certain). One of the photos is of Grandma and one of these gals at college graduation, and I thought it looked like the one I saw in an actual, identified picture from nearly 20 years later.

So just for the halibut, I started paging through my Grandma's college yearbooks. Right on hand, I have 1923 and 1924. Unfortunately, only the senior class has its pictures and names; this seems to be a common failing in yearbooks from the early 20th century. BUT, not only did I find Edith among the senior pictures, I found Thelma in some of the club listings.

And so the mystery seems to be solved. They are college friends who remained in close touch (as in vacationing together) for years after college.

And Mary, from the other post? She is the mother of Thelma. It seems that not only were the girls close friends in college, their families became close enough to vacation together and exchange family pictures for many years. There's also another gal who keeps showing up. Still haven't quite figured her out yet, but she seems to be associated with the Boblets (Mary her husband Harry, and Thelma) and I have a copy of her wedding picture, taken in Hawaii in the early 1930s. The Boblets lived in Hawaii around then, but I'm sure this is not Thelma (though she sure seems to get treated like a daughter to Mary and Harry). In fact, I'm fairly certain her maiden name was Hammond, and that she married a guy named Holt, and that they had a son named Austin (just like Thelma had a brother named Austin, seems to run in the family). Relative of the Boblets? I guess. But no way to be certain right now.

Well, another mystery for another day.

Angela Lansbury - COMMUNIST!!!!!

And she plays such a good one. No wonder she was tapped to play in the demon barber of Fleet Street and that chick who just seems to attract, or maybe even cause, murder. She is evil, I tell you. But she's in her 80s and still going strong, I gather. Rock on, O evil Communist, murder-causing wench actress!

Where was I? Oh yeah. We made our semi-occasional pilgrimage to Borders this weekend. Borders had a half-off sale on all DVDs, so I picked up several at half-off the "old movie" price. I was looking for a specific one (Heartbreak Ridge for those of you not paying close attention) but didn't find it in stock. [sigh] Maybe another time.

But I did pick up some others, some I've been looking for for a while, others that just piqued my attention when I saw them on the shelf.

Of those that piqued my curiosity because the looked interesting: Gray Lady Down and The Professionals. Gray Lady Down I remember from ads years back, looked interesting then, looks interesting now. The Professionals I don't recall ever hearing of, but it looks neo-cowboy-nihilist in the manner of The Wild Bunch. I'm looking forward to it someday. And it's got Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin, Robert Ryan, and Jack Palance. Gotta be good!

Anyhoo, I picked up six DVDs total, including the two in the last paragraph. Others include a classic Agatha Christie, Ten Little Indians, a classic (CLASSIC I tell you!) western, My Darling Clementine (Henry Fonda - Oh Yeah!).

And one of which Dave will be especially proud of me: A Man for All Seasons. I am SO looking forward to that one. Even if I still haven't found my taped copy of Henry V.

Oh, and yeah, I picked up the Angela Lansbury flick which is the point of this post. I was on my normal, weekly telecommute day and decided to throw it in the DVD player for background while I worked. Bad mistake. It is far too good and far too intense for background. So I'll have to make up that two hours in the rest of my 50-60+ hour week. No need to thank me, it's what I do.

But, no matter what your particular political bent, please see this movie (unless you are a vile, soul-sucking COMMUNIST like Angela Lansbury).

It is. Too cool. For words. And Angela Lansbury rocks. So does Laurence Harvey. So does Frank Sinatra. And John McGiver. And others too numerous to tell of their rock-on-ishness.

Agincourt

By Bernard Cornwell.

Wow. What a cool book. I just got up to the epilogue as I finished my bike ride today (listening to the CD, of course), but I couldn't wait to finish before posting.

Bill (who no longer blogs here because of the vile spammers) turned me on to the Sharpe series a while back. Very cool series, so naturally I had to search out more of Cornwell's books. I liked Redcoat, had a hard time getting into The Archer's Tale (not sure why, I think it was because I was on a cruise and didn't have the right mindset). I'm looking forward to entering into the Arthur books because that is a great series of legends.

Back to the now: Agincourt - spectacular. Told mostly (not exclusively) from the perspective of a commoner who is one of Henry's archers. Some interesting religious overtones. A nobleman who considers his commoners to be his brethren and worthy of his protection. Raw and bloody, no punches pulled even on the slaughter of French prisoners (justified or not). And the twist at the end? Man, excellent.

And it makes me want to search my library (such as it is) of tapes to find that copy of Kenneth (what a great name!) Branagh's Henry V that I taped several years back but haven't watched yet.

HAHAHAHA!

I have no idea how I missed this one on the first run of the show but I don't remember it. I like Amfeny. Enjoy.

Wow

Pushing eighty and still sounding good. For that matter, still looking good.

Gogi Grant.