No prize, just a bit of verbally creative fun.
Here’s the setup: I installed a new app on the computer and had to reboot. I got back into my email and there was an interesting (to me) headline on the news page. This was on the Comcast page so you probably can’t see the video there, but here’s the video on the Foxnews website. Here are a couple of screen caps:
The transcript onscreen missed the noises going on after the lady started talking, but I've inserted them below:
Jody Hoover: "He's got the chair in his hand! He's counting, oh my God, oh my God! He's getting ready to come in!"Now, leaving aside the fact that the dispatcher's response to "still moving" should have been more along the lines of "then shoot him again", what should Ms. Hoover's response to the dispatcher's actual comment have been?
[Bunch of noise and screaming]
911 Dispatcher: "Ma'am?"
Jody Hoover: "Yes!"
911 Dispatcher: "What happened?"
Jody Hoover: "He tried to come in and my husband shot him. And he's still moving!"
911 Dispatcher: "I want you to tell your husband to put the gun down."
Get creative!
12 comments:
"Honey the dispatcher said to put him down"
"Well alrighty then!" *BLAM*
"ok, he's down, what next?"
"But he's already firing from the hip."
"But we don't have any canoli!"
"Aim lower, honey, so his cellmate won't suffer so much!"
"That's the smallest hole I've ever seen... and you call yourself a .45!"
"Ok, he's put the gun down, what now?"
Well, this is just a refinement of Arthur's so he gets the credit:
"Honey the dispatcher said to put the guy down."
If needed, a plausible enough "that's what I heard!" in front of a jury.
Not very creative today, I was thinking along the lines of the woman saying something along the lines of
OH HELLS NO
to the dispatcher.
Or maybe, "Okay, then, we'll load the invader in a taxi, send him over to you, and let YOU deal with him."
"Hon' the dispatcher said to put the gun down.
"She's right, I really should use the shotgun."
911 Dispatcher: "I want you to tell your husband to put the gun down." Jody Hoover: "@!^&$#&#$^#$^!"
"I'm not telling him to do that until I've gotten my 'Emeril' frying pan out!"
Arthur wins, right out of the gate.
"She's right, I really should use the shotgun."According to this, that's what he had in the first place. Also note that this took place in Virginia, not in Vermont. I thought that lady had the dangedest Vermont accent.
I looked it up because I wondered about the final words on the Fox clip, about police considering it a "killing" (duh). This says the man will not be charged.
Also, that first link has the dispatcher assuring the woman that if the man's been shot, he's not going to get up and hurt them.
Also note that this took place in Virginia, not in Vermont. I thought that lady had the dangedest Vermont accent.That is so totally funny because the original FoxNews article said it was Vermont (Jeff corrected me on that point; being from Ore/Cal, I don't pay that much attention to geography of that area east of the Rockies [i.e., the humid areas]).
Dang, I hope I got the close paren/bracket stuff right.
that first link has the dispatcher assuring the woman that if the man's been shot, he's not going to get up and hurt themYeah, famous last words. I prefer to just keep shooting until he stops moving.
WV: syrphibl - One of the lesser known social diseases.
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